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Post by andrewmgan1976 on Apr 22, 2009 8:39:00 GMT 1
Steven hawkins has taken ill. The ambulance driver didn't know whether to take him to A&E or PC World.
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Post by andrewmgan1976 on Apr 29, 2009 21:08:49 GMT 1
Boy asks his wee granny "Have you seen my pills - they were labelled LSD?!?" Granny replies "Fukk the pills!! You seen the Dragons in the Kitchen?!?!?"
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Post by barndoor on Apr 30, 2009 10:51:31 GMT 1
Government Health Warning :- if you experience symptoms like severe bad breath , sweaty underarms and an irrational fear of pigs DO NOT PANIC you do not have swine flu youre just a paki!!
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Post by andrewmgan1976 on May 8, 2009 12:29:54 GMT 1
You have to feel sorry for Ricky Hatton. Last time I saw someone battered that badly around the ring they were found in Barrymore's swimming pool
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Post by hatrick3 on May 28, 2009 17:34:26 GMT 1
What do a lesbian and a triscut have in common?
One's a snack cracker...
Hatrick
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Post by J180 on Jul 6, 2009 12:53:31 GMT 1
Saw My Mate Yesterday
he's only got one arm, "where you off to?" i shouted, "to change a lightbulb" he said, "that's gonna be awkward isn't it?", "no" he said, "ive still got the receipt" !!
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Post by cadbhoy180 on Feb 2, 2010 2:14:04 GMT 1
man buys his wife a fur coat made out of hamster skins and took her to blackpool.........couldnt get her off the big wheel for 2 days
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Post by cadbhoy180 on Feb 2, 2010 2:15:59 GMT 1
women should be like golf caddies.either holding my balls or getting my f**king tee!
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Post by J180 on Feb 15, 2010 15:54:12 GMT 1
I asked a girl in a club last night if she wanted to play the rape game, she said no. I thought "thats the spirit"
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Post by J180 on Feb 15, 2010 15:59:19 GMT 1
A guy starts going out with a deaf girl, and he decides that they need to organise a system so she can tell when he's feeling horny.
He says: "OK, here's the code: I'll stroke your left breast when I feel randy, and you pull my dick once for yes, and 150 times for no".
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Post by cadbhoy180 on Feb 16, 2010 1:48:10 GMT 1
i got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.apparently the instruction"finish off on her face"did'nt mean what i thought it did!
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Post by J180 on Apr 7, 2010 12:41:37 GMT 1
A man with no arms and no legs is sitting a a chair on the beach a girl comes upto him and says have you ever been hugged the man said no so she hugged him. then later another girl comes upto him and says have you ever been kissed he says no so she kisses him. then another girl comes upto him and says have you ever been f***ed he says no and the girl goes well you will be when the tide comes in.
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Post by J180 on Jun 26, 2010 11:51:44 GMT 1
sam walks in she's horrified to find her husband in bed with a 3ft5 midget!. she screams "how could you cheat on me again after last time!) husband replys "for f*ck sake sam can't you see im trying to cut down"
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Post by cadbhoy180 on Jun 27, 2010 1:35:50 GMT 1
what u call a paki who finishes a race last? ranshit what do u call 3 pakis? multi pak what u call a paki thats just arrived? amir what do u call a paki elvis impersonator? amal shukup what u call a paki in a bin? rumajihn what u call a paki police informer? wazim
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