|
Post by buzz180 on Sept 24, 2008 9:16:18 GMT 1
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Bubba.'
The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm.
'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Bubba.'
The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
'Well, Bubba had two ass holes ..'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen em,' but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with them two assholes.
|
|
|
Post by dimples on Oct 2, 2008 22:20:30 GMT 1
Elton John went to a tatooist and said"I want a rolls royce tattooed on my pen*s,he said "You'd be better with a land rover it won't get stuck in the shit"!
|
|
|
Post by dimples on Oct 2, 2008 22:25:21 GMT 1
A gorgeous redhead goes to the doctor and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says Dr,"Show me" The redhead took her finger pushed her forehead and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her ankle and screamed.Everywhere she touched made her scream. The Dr. said"Your not really a redhead are you?". "No" she replied, "I'm actually a blonde""I thought so"Dr. says "Your fingers broken"!
|
|
|
Post by dimples on Oct 2, 2008 22:27:04 GMT 1
Stephen Hawking is in hospital recovering from head injuries, a broken collar bone and a fractured arm... Apparently his date last night stood him up!
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 2, 2008 23:03:41 GMT 1
Nothing worse than looking down after sex and seeing that limp, soggy used condom hanging down off your dick ....... especially when you weren't wearing one when you started ;D
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 16, 2008 11:53:40 GMT 1
My Mrs was telling me earlier that obesity is in her genes. I was compelled to point out that wasn't true as she also looks fat when she wears a skirt
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 16, 2008 11:54:59 GMT 1
Do you like Wayne Rooney's new hair cut? Apparently its the result of a misunderstanding on Colleen's part, when a magazine offered her £1,000,000 to shave her c##t ;D
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 16, 2008 11:56:11 GMT 1
Just done my 1st gig as a stand-up comedian at an old people's home. They didn't get any of my jokes but they still pissed themselves ;D
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 16, 2008 11:57:29 GMT 1
HUSBAND: Let's try the missionary position WIFE: OK what do we do? HUSBAND: I'll stay here, you f##k off to Africa
|
|
|
Post by dimples on Oct 16, 2008 14:22:35 GMT 1
Ha Ha good ones snake. ;D
Alesbian slept with 13 women in one night and suddenly died. At her post-mortem it was revealed she died from a crack overdose!
|
|
|
Post by shitatdarts on Oct 16, 2008 14:57:30 GMT 1
some funny jokes in here
|
|
|
Post by J180 on Oct 24, 2008 15:29:58 GMT 1
A guy goes into a Drs surgery with a carrot up his nose, cucumber in his ear and a piece of ham in his eye. He says to the Dr 'Whats wrong with me?'
Dr says 'I don't think your eating properly!'
|
|
|
Post by Snakehipsx2 on Oct 24, 2008 15:36:54 GMT 1
Question for Gavster: Could you do me a big favour, I know everyone is probably asking you this, but can I borrow your face for Halloween?
|
|
|
Post by dimples on Oct 24, 2008 15:39:00 GMT 1
lmao
|
|
|
Post by J180 on Oct 24, 2008 15:46:14 GMT 1
hehehe ;D
|
|