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Post by Snakehipsx2 on Jun 28, 2008 12:00:07 GMT 1
Not that complicated fella .... post what you want, parental warning is for the people who are going to read it. If easily offended ... dont :-)
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Post by gavster on Jun 30, 2008 12:36:03 GMT 1
a farmer in devon has successfully grown a field of vibrators unfortunately he now has a problem with squatters ;D
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Post by gavster on Jun 30, 2008 12:37:53 GMT 1
a recent report said that 60% of 13 year old girls from hull regulary binge drink thats shocking who the fook is looking after their kids?? ;D
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Post by force666 on Jun 30, 2008 13:29:31 GMT 1
hahahahahaha
Newly weds turn up at hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. The receptionist asks do you have reservations? Bride replies Im a bit worried about taking it up the arse.
;D
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Post by gavster on Jun 30, 2008 13:39:33 GMT 1
hahaha good work fella
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Post by Snakehipsx2 on Jun 30, 2008 18:50:11 GMT 1
"Doctor, would you please kiss me?" says the patient "No" says the doc "you are a very beautiful woman, but its against my code of ethics" "Please, just one kiss" she pleads "Sorry" says the doc "its totally out of the question, if the truth be known you shouldnt even be sucking my cock"
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Post by gavster on Jul 16, 2008 13:02:30 GMT 1
simon weston has just released his own cook book its called "how to cook your own chops in 15 minutes" ;D
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Post by gavster on Jul 16, 2008 13:19:48 GMT 1
what does carol vorderman do when shes constipated? she works it out with a pencil
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Post by shitatdarts on Jul 17, 2008 15:42:35 GMT 1
Guy comes home from a bad day at the office and finds his girlfriend standing at the door of their apartment, bags packed and sitting at her feet.
He says, "And where the f**k do you think you're going?" She says, "I heard today that you're a pedophile, so I'm going back to mother!" He says, "Pedophile! That's an awfully big word for a twelve year old."
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Post by gavster on Jul 30, 2008 12:01:51 GMT 1
there was a look alike competition in china last week and every fooker won ;D
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Post by barndoor on Jul 30, 2008 13:04:29 GMT 1
A man walks into a bar, late one night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. "What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac - you couldn't satisfy her if you were there 'til Christmas," he replies. "We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park. He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman. "It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says. "Oh, I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop. The barman replies -"Neither did I 'til you shone your torch!"
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Post by gavster on Jul 31, 2008 14:10:38 GMT 1
whats the height of suspicion?
seeing the coalman leave your house with one clean finger ;D
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Post by barndoor on Jul 31, 2008 14:13:32 GMT 1
There was a male and a female whale swimming through the ocean. They were starving and hadn’t eaten in days. So the male says to the female, "I have an idea! We’ll find one of those big ships, I’ll go on one side and you go on the other. We’ll blow water onto the ship and sink it. As the men jump off......whala, dinner!" So she agrees, and they find themselves a ship. As planned, she goes on one side of the ship and him on the other. They begin to blow water onto the ship. As he explained, the men started jumping overboard. He went around eatting them up and looks over and sees her just watching. He swims over and asks, "What are you doing? Why aren’t you eatting?" And she says,"I told you before! I dont mind a good blow job every once in awhile, but I draw the line at swallowing seaman!"
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Post by barndoor on Aug 7, 2008 16:31:39 GMT 1
Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question, and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday. The fist friday the question was how many gallons of water are there in the whole world. No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday. Next Friday the question was how many grains of sand are there in the whole world. No one knew so they had to sgo to school on Monday. By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday, so he paints two ping-pong balls black and the next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black ping-pong balls up to her and she said, "Who is the comedian with two black balls?" Little Johnny said," Bill Cosby. See you on Tuesday."
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Post by gavster on Sept 24, 2008 8:35:46 GMT 1
in recent times its been suggested that a apple a day keeps the doctor away but since all the doctors are now muslim i find a fookin bacon sandwich works better
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